The Child in the Backyard

A cold but sunny september afternoon. Sofie paused her singing as something caught her eye.

"Klaus?"
"Sofie."
"There's a child in our backyard."
"What?"
"A little boy, in our backyard. Just standing there, staring right at me."
"Does he blink?"
"No, I don't think he does, actually."
"Oh, that one. Right."
"Do you know him?"
"Er, no. Not exactly."
"He's been here before?"
"Darling, I'm surprised you haven't noticed earlier, but he's been standing in that exact spot for a fortnight."
"Really? I guess I haven't been very attentive lately."
"That's all right, dear."

"Well, is he all right? Should we do something?"
"As a matter of fact I told Clarence to sort it out yesterday."
"What did he do about it?"
"He went down and told the boy to go home, but got no reply."
"That's odd. Maybe he's deaf."
"What? No, I'm pretty sure the boy just didn't answer him."
"No, Klaus, I'm trying to say that maybe the boy is deaf."
"Well... I guess you could say that he is, kind of."
"What happened next?"
"Clarence then proceeded to poke the boy repeatedly with a rake."
"Oh, that's terrible!"
"I suppose he could've used a broom instead."
"He didn't leave when Clarence poked him with the broom?"
"Rake, dear."
"Yes."
"No, he didn't leave, as you can see."
"What's wrong with him then?"
"Clarence took a closer look and found out the boy was dead."
"Dead?"
"Cold as last november. But that's not all."
"No?"
"The boy is stuffed. With straw, perhaps."
"Stuffed?"
"An excellent work of craftmanship, Clarence told me. He knows about these things, you know. His uncle was a taxidermist."
"Are you sure he's..."
"I trust Clarence on this matter. He said the boy's featureless glass eyes were a dead giveaway."
"How does he know they're made of glass?"
"He took one out."
"Klaus, that's pretty disturbing."
"Don't worry, he shoved it back this morning."
"I wonder who put him in our backyard?"
"Frankly, I couldn't care less."

"Can we keep him, darling?"
"What?"
"Bring him inside. You know I've always wanted children."
"You know I loathe children, Sofie!"
"Besides, he's dead! He won't run around the house."
"Well..."
"And he won't need any food."
"I'm not sure that matters, really."
"We could put him beside the fireplace. And imagine him standing next to our bed at night!"
"..."
"Just think of the fun I'll have!"
"Uh..."
"Oh please, darling, please?"
"Um, all right, I guess..."
"Wonderful! Thank you Klaus! I'll go tell Clarence to bring him in right away."

"I'd better keep an eye on that boy."