The Family Portrait

"All right, Sofie. All set. Smile for the camera, Benjamin."
"How long did you set the timer for, dear?"
"One minute."
"Why that long? You know I'm terrible at being still."
"It's the default setting and I don't know how to change it."
"Look in the manual, then."
"I don't know where the bloody manual is! Don't you think I would've looked in it?"
"It's in the left bottom drawer of your desk."
"Which desk? The one in the study or the one in the library?"
"The one in the study of course, Klaus!"
"Well I'm not going to get it now, am I? Be still now. The camera will go off in thirty-eight seconds."
"Fine."

"Sofie, why is Benjamin still wearing those dirty boots? I thought I told you to put some decent shoes on him."
"They're filled with cement. I can't pry them loose."
"Cement?"
"Yes. I think he'd otherwise fall over."
"Well what about his clothes? He looks like a beggar in that smelly outfit of his."
"I told you, they've been sewn right into his embalmed skin. I'll see if I can get the stitches open tomorrow. Besides, we don't have anything in his size yet."
"Ah, right."

"I think the balloon is a nice touch, Klaus. Good idea."
"I didn't bring it. I thought you did."
"No."
"Odd."
"Maybe Clarence did."

"I wish you'd stand up, darling. Why do you insist sprawling on the floor like a dog?"
"I told you, my legs have been paralyzed since this morning!"
"Oh, that's right, you did. Sorry, dear."
"Honestly, Klaus! You don't seem to hear anything I tell you."
"I've been a bit distracted, I guess. Now be still, the camera will go off in three seconds."
"Distracted, my ass! I wish you'd pay attention to me for once."

*Click!*

"Goddamnit, Benjamin!"
"Don't yell at the boy, Klaus!"
"I will fucking yell at him! The little bastard moved!"